I fear presentations.

Have you ever had trouble doing presentations?
Well, if you don’t then I envy you. Today I had a presentation for my psychology class. I had what I was to say to the class all planned out. However, at the last minute I started it was as though I completely forgot. I wish I could improve, but I can’t improve because just seeing all the eyes looking in my direction makes me nervous.
As I read the Adler & Rodman textbook in chapter 11 & 12. It mentions some don’ts about public speaking and some visual aspects of delivering your message. I can’t seem to help myself notice how many of these don’t I do such as: do not end abruptly, don’t ramble either and don’t apologize. However, despite the fact that we shouldn’t do these things when doing public speaking, it is difficult to especially if you fear public presentations.
Teachers and superiors always say: “ always make eye contact, have good posture, annunciate and articulate”. However, it is difficult to do all of these, while not fearing you might say something wrong. Yes, some people memorize their presentation speech, however, what is the point of even bothering to memorizing your speech when you cant even delivery it because of your fear of public speaking. I am not trying to say that, those who can’t deliver speech should give up on trying to improve, but evidently, no matter if you have your speech or presentation memorize, once you see all the eyes focused on you, its difficult to concentrate.
No matter how clearly I understand the message I want to convey, every time I tried to mention it, my words turn into automatic rambling. Someone once said: “its better if you don’t speak, because at least people will think your smart”.
I really want to solve this problem, but I simply don’t have enough courage to. I want to leave my shell, but I fear of making a fool out of myself.

Lawyers: are you sure you can trust them?

You know what I find very interesting the way lawyers speak. In particular, I find it very intriguing how they are able to squeeze what they want to hear by confusion of yes or no questions.
I truly respect and applaud lawyer’s on their use of communication tactics. It is always important to tell the truth especially when it comes crucial to solving an investigation. However, I find it very unfortunate how through finances some people are able to escape death row, just by buying off an excellent communication lawyer. Even if the person did commit the crime or what not, just by the use of money, they are given the opportunity to escape what they really deserve. Although this is not ethical, I believe these things do happen. In my opinion, having lawyers is great, for those who are innocent, but what about those who aren’t? Should lawyers hunger for money really be the judgement of persuading us. I am not sure if this makes sense, however, I guess my main point is the fact that yes; I do respect lawyers for their excellent communication skills. But, through their tactics and persuasion, I find it very terrifying how they can make people believe someone is innocent, when they really aren’t. In my opinion, I find the use of lawyers is not helpful in determining who is innocent and who is not, instead they contribute to the danger of society.

Usefulness of this course.

I am very grateful that Mcmaster offers such a course like communication studies. I use to think that, why would you offer a course like communication studies, when we already know how to communicate. However, through these couple of weeks, I learn a lot about myself as well as when it comes interacting with people. I also learn useful tactics that will not be forgotten. Although, this is my first year of university, meeting new people while taken this course has given me the ability to classify certain communication tactics used.
If it weren’t for this communication studies course, I would not realize how essential communication is to our lives.

Disconfirming Response

After listening to several lectures by Professor Alex Sevigny, I realize there are a lot of communication tactics we use everyday that we don’t realize. However, the biggest flaw in communication in my opinion is misinterpretation or disconfirming response.
My most recent conflict that resulted from misinterpretation was when a friend was angry at me when I cancelled a meeting with her twice due to work Although I did not intentionally cancel our plans, I realize that by not fulfilling the plan to meet up, my friend thought I devalued her and our friendship. This conflict resulted because I cancelled our bonding time together which made her believe my response in cancelling on her was a disconfirming response.
What is disconfirming response? According to Adler & Rodman,
Disconfirming response is a message that expresses a lack of caring or respect for another person. Unless you’re an expert at communicating, everyone eventually encounters misinterpretations due to communication which turns into a conflict. In order to avoid sending disconfirming response we have to ensure that the person being spoken to has a clear understanding of what is being said. Often what may occur could be people over read a situation, which results in a belief that the person was sending a disconfirming response towards them.
Another example of disconfirming response is the use of MSN messenger. The problem that occurs with chatting online is we are unable to see facial expression. Resulting, in not knowing if a person is being serious or just has a sense of sarcasm. As a result, it is very easy to misinterpret a message and to believe that the person speaking may be sending you a disconfirming response.